Being Transgender At An All Girls’ School

by Percy Okoben

I am transgender. This means that when I was born, I was identified as female, but I don’t identify as a girl. I identify as a Demi boy, in other words, not non-binary, just not binary. But I go to a school that was designed to cater to an entirely female body of students.

Over winter break, I told my teachers that I was transgender, and the past couple of weeks have been filled with my teachers and peers adjusting to this change. 

When I walked in on the first day of school, I realized that things would change. Not only would I stop being referred to by my old name and pronouns, but people would see me differently. My orchestra teacher wouldn’t refer to me as a “new woman” when I changed something for the better in my playing. My math teacher, when we met outside of class for extra help, probably wouldn’t stress how much he valued girl’s education. My friends, whom I had previously told, would finally call me “Percy” in casual conversation in the Dining Hall, not anymore afraid for people overhearing them.

But it wouldn’t all be like this. People might eschew my company because they don’t like how I identify. Unkind words might be said, perhaps even bullying would occur. I had already had to switch friend groups because people became too unkind about my being LGBT. But I was now associating with people who were more accepting and nicer than those I had left. Perhaps things wouldn’t be so bad.

During the course of my first week, I was pulled aside several times by teachers, which became a bit nerve-wracking, feeling as if I were in trouble each time it happened. But it was almost always because they were trying to make me more comfortable.

But there was one incident that stuck with me. It was the day of the talent show, a few hours after I’d sung Freddie Mercury’s “Love Me Like There’s No Tomorrow.” A faculty member pulled me aside because the guidance counselor was concerned that the song was a metaphor for me committing suicide. I imagine that the faculty was made wary of me when I came out, perhaps that I might be upset over my dysphoria, but it was a bit of a stretch to read that much into a song title that a sappy teenager picked out. I know it was just because they cared about me and my mental health, but the confrontation was rather jarring.

But, all in all, my experience of returning to school after announcing my transness has been positive. My friends that I had told we’re excited to be open about my pronouns and name. My friends that I hadn’t told are adjusting to the change very well. My teachers are supportive and are doing all they can to make this change as comfortable as possible. And, overall, I do not regret coming out and I am very glad that I told people about this important part of me.