Debunking Biphobic Biases
by Violet Webster
** Warning: this article references sexual content
“Bisexual people are more prone to cheating”
“I don’t want a threesome.”
“They’re just on their way to becoming gay.”
“We would just have a different lifestyle”
These quotes are just a few examples of biphobic remarks that the majority of bisexual people have heard over their lives. Biphobia is the general adversion to bisexuality and bisexual people. It is not only perpetrated by straight or generally homophobic people, but also by members of the LGBT+ community. Around 60% of bisexual people have reported hearing biphobic remarks in the workplace. Bisexual people make up 52% of the LGBT community, yet they are still seen as not a legitimate identity. Though bisexual people are just as likely to have a relationship with a man as they would with a woman, they are seen as “not gay enough” by the LGBT+ community, and “too gay” for straight people. Bi people also experience bi erasure, or the subjugation of an entire part of their identity by being labeled as simply “gay” or “straight”. There are hundreds of misconceptions, like the quotes above, about bi people and their status in the LGBT+ community. To clear up some of these misconceptions (and to explain why these misconceptions are incredibly harmful to bisexual people) here are these quotes debunked.
“Bisexual people are more prone to cheating”
Bisexuality is the attraction to same and other genders. Attraction is not the same as wanting to be in multiple relationships. This stereotype likely stems from the idea that a bisexual person can’t be satisfied by just one partner of one sex. It is widely thought that after sometime a bisexual person will become bored with their partner, and start looking for someone else to satisfy their needs. This is simply not true. In reality, studies show that 89% of bisexual women were in long term monogamous relationships. As psychologist Dr. Zhana Vrangalova puts it, Just because you like bacon, doesn’t mean you’re incapable of not eating it for, say, health or moral reasons.”
“They’re just on their way to realizing that they’re gay.”
Though sexuality is fluid, bisexuality is not the same as “questioning” or “experimenting”. They are no more “on their way to realizing that they’re gay” as a straight person is. By saying this to bi person, you are insinuating that they’re sexuality is not valid or that the struggles they have gone through as a bisexual person are not valid either.
“I don’t want a threesome.”
Similarly to how “bisexual” isn’t the same as “questioning”, it is also not the same as “polyamorous”. Polyamorous people are open to being in relationships of more than one person, and though they can be bisexual, not all bisexual people are polyamorous. Chances are, if you thought bisexual people are only good for threesomes, you weren’t thinking about if they were polyamorous. It is more likely you were under the impression that bisexuality is only about sex, which is completely false. Bisexual people are capable of having just as loving and intense romantic relationships with people as straight or gay people are.
“We would just have a different lifestyle”
Like every other person one will meet in their life, yes, bisexual people do have a different lifestyle than straight people, lesbians or gay men. Luckily, that way of life only differs from that of another LGBT person in the fact that a bisexual person could have had other relationships with people of opposite genders in their life.