By: Jessica Chang

Elon, recently named “the world’s richest person,” and man enthused about having just discovered opposable thumbs, is in possession of a net worth of $185 billion and a loyal cult (hey! this is a no-judgement space) whose members include Steve, your white-boy-who-tried-to-mansplain-bitcoin-to-you-but-secretly-has-a-bit-of-an-inferiority-complex™ neighbor.