I, an Asian American, am not your foreigner

By: Caroline Jung

I’ve grown to develop a burning hatred for the question, “where are you from?” Despite its intentions, the question only conjures up bad memories that make me feel excluded. The question has only taught me that America doesn’t see me as American even though I’ve lived here my entire life.

A frequent conversation during elementary school:

“Where are you from?” 

“Here in Ohio.” 

“No, where are you really from?” 

“Well, I was born in California but moved after 6 months so I wouldn’t consider I’m from there.”

“You know what I mean, what are you?”

Pause. “Korean.” 

“Oh so you’re Korean, ok. Are you from the North or South?”

Sigh. Seriously?

In elementary school, I just said the answer my classmates wanted to hear because I wanted them to leave me alone. But now, if I must edit the conversation, I would conclude with “a homo sapien” out of pure spite… the audacity they have to ask me what I am as if I’m not human….

Over the years though, I’ve realized that answering these questions with what people want to hear is doing more harm than good. It’s furthering the perpetual foreigner status: when naturalized, native born citizens, and families who have lived in the country for generations, are seen as foreigners because they are minorities. Asian Americans are among the many groups who fall into this category. When people hear the direct answers they want (which really should be the answer to “what is your ethnicity?”), it implies that Asian Americans are from somewhere but not America.

For the record, I am in fact a homo sapien, born in California, mostly raised in Ohio, ethnically Korean, and therefore, a Korean American. I grew up in America—I know the culture, the trends, the slang. I am not foreign to America. But America treats me that way.

If I criticize something in America, people will tell me to “go back to your country then” as if America is not my country but theirs. They will bring up whataboutism in Korea, not because they want to talk about both issues, but because they see me, a Korean American, representative of Korea and the Korean government even though I only know a tiny fraction of the events happening there. America will shame me if I don’t know everything about Korea when they never mention Korea in school. America will shame me if I can’t speak Korean perfectly. America will get angry if I speak something other than English in public. America will make fun of my parents’ accents. America will tell me I speak English well for an Asian. America will automatically assume I am Chinese and say “Nǐ hǎo” to me instead of “Hello” (side note: not all Asians are Chinese nor are they just East Asian). America will not include Asians in a statistic about race in America. America will discredit me as American if I have a group of Asian friends. America will label me whitewashed if I have a group of white friends. 

In America’s eyes, I am only Asian, not American. In America’s eyes, Asians can’t also be American. And because I am surrounded by America all the time, it’s easy for me to fall into that narrative. We need to fight against this narrative. Don’t buy into it. Asian does not automatically mean foreigner. I am American and I also happen to be Asian. I am not your foreigner because I am Asian American.