It’s T Time (Video+Script)
By: Percy Okoben
Hello, guys, gals, and nonbinary pals! It’s been a while since I made a video and some developments have happened, the most important of which, I’m starting testosterone therapy soon (excited kazoo noises)!
For those of you confused, hi, I’m Percy, and I’m transmasculine (i.e. I was assigned female at birth, but identify as not female, in my case, as a binary male). Like a lot of trans people, I have gender dysphoria, a deep discomfort in my assigned gender. I also have body dysphoria, which means I am also uncomfortable with my body. I often wish I were, for example, taller and had a deeper voice. While it is very unlikely that I’ll get any taller, going on testosterone may result in the deepening of my voice.
Testosterone, sometimes called just “T,” is present in everyone’s bodies, though people assigned male at birth may have more of it naturally than people assigned female at birth. Some people assigned male at birth who don’t identify as male may go on hormone blockers, estrogen, and progesterone to create a more feminine appearance to alleviate dysphoria. And some people like me who were assigned female at birth but don’t identify as female may go on testosterone (and hormone blockers if they’re under 16 and have parental consent) to create a more masculine appearance and alleviate dysphoria. Some changes that may result in my going on T are:
The deepening of the voice
Possible, but not likely, height increase
Fat redistribution
Increased amounts of hair on places like the face, shoulders, and chest
A slight receding of the hairline and possible male pattern baldness
Acne
Basically, most of the changes that would occur if I were born male and went through the traditional male puberty. Some people who go on hormone therapy sometimes describe the changes they experience as a “second puberty.”
Now you know what happens when someone goes on hormone therapy, but you may not understand why. Well, the reasons differ for different people, but here is my experience. As I went through female puberty, I felt an increasing discomfort within my body that had been there before (for instance, being addressed as a girl and with my legal name and not being able to use the men’s bathroom, etc.) but got worse as time went on, particularly when I started noticing the differences between my body and those of the boys around me. They were taller, had deeper voices, some even had the beginnings of facial hair, and this made me very uncomfortable. I had only “passed” as male for a short period of seventh and eighth grade after I had cut my hair and wore baggier clothing so people could not see my chest, but when my chest grew, that no longer worked, and people stopped recognizing me as male. My negative feelings about this seemed odd to me, because, at the time, I didn’t know I was transgender. But I realized that it felt worse to be gendered as female than as male and that, among many other factors, made me realize that I was transgender. I then, being the Ravenpuff I am, did some research on transgender people and how they transitioned from being seen as one gender to another and realized that I wanted many of the changes that occurred when transmasculine people went on testosterone (and had gender-affirming surgeries, but that’s for another time). And that’s how I knew I wanted to go on testosterone.
But how can you get hormone therapy and in what forms does it come? Well, for a transmasculine person in my situation (living in the US with the means to transition), here is what you do. Contact your doctor, or have your parents contact them if you are under eighteen, and tell them that you are looking to physically transition. They will most likely ask you some questions and either refer you to a gender therapist or, if you are already seeing a gender therapist, refer you to a gender clinic. From there, after you have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria by someone at the gender clinic you attend, and after you have seen their endocrinologist in order to make sure you are healthy enough to start hormone therapy, there will be 1-4 options given to you for how you will begin to take testosterone; internally, externally, via an implant, or via pills. Most people start with injections (internally), either intramuscular or subdural, though many clinics are starting to offer mainly subdural, as it is less painful than intramuscular. This is the option most commonly given to teenagers, as it is less likely to spread through touch to other people, and it is the easiest to initially control and adjust. Many people prefer this method because it is less expensive than some other options and changes are quicker to appear. This is the method I will most likely be using when I start in a month or two after I am approved and see an endocrinologist. Some people alternatively start with gels, creams, or patches (externally), which are rubbed or placed onto the skin 1-2 times per day and absorbed. This is also easy to adjust and has fewer side effects because the levels are more stable, due to the frequency of application, but it is more expensive, can stain clothing, break, or potentially pass onto other people if they touch the person using it within a few hours of application. After levels become stable, some switch to an implant. Some prefer this method because it requires less attention than injections, gels, patches, or creams, and doesn’t have as much scar tissue develop as injections but it is also more expensive than either of the aforementioned methods. The last method is the pill method. I don’t know very much about this method because it is banned in the US due to its believed negative effects on the liver, so unless you live in a country where it is legal, it is not likely that you will encounter this method.
If you are someone watching this who has a friend or relative starting hormone replacement therapy, know that their decision to start hormones has probably come with years of thought, dysphoria, and pain living in the wrong gender, I know I have. And if you are watching this video with more questions, there are a ton of people on the internet who have already started hormone therapy, have been on it for years, talk openly about it, and know a heck of a lot more than I do. Nevertheless, I hope this was helpful, and at least a little bit informative. Okay, bye