Phone Restrictions, From a Child’s View
By Jieun Woo
Recently, as online learning has started for my school, my parents and I got into an argument about whether or not they should control the amount of time I can use my phone. Of course, I said no, since it’s the method that I depend on to de-stress and because there is no reason to control it since I do not do anything that impacts other people directly like using money on apps. My parents said yes, that they should limit it during school time. Thus, my dad restricted phone use from 7 am- 2 pm, once school begins and ends. I understand why he would restrict phone use during class, since it becomes a distraction, but what about the break times in between virtual classes, or if a class ends early, or the 30 min rest period after lunch? These are all times during which a child wants to destress by doing something that they want to. So, I started wondering about whether a parent should control a child’s phone usage.
A necessity I found important was trust. The reason why parents restrict a child’s screen time is because there isn’t enough trust between parents and child: they don’t trust that the child can control the amount of screen time by him/herself. The child may not be able to control themselves in some cases, however, I believe that even when the child does not have enough control or patience, the child him/herself knows whether or not they can control their screen time by themselves. I also believe that if the child knows they can’t control a healthy amount of screen time, and the parents trust their child, the child will be the one to speak up and ask for help controlling a healthy amount of screen time.
It is understandable when a parent steps in when the length of screen time begins to impact the development of a child. For example, it could be causing health problems like computer vision syndrome, or damaging face-to-face communication skills. However, nowadays, many parents use phone restrictions or confiscated phones to punish bad behavior of kids. Instead of deterring the bad behavior though, this actually has a negative effect on relationships and tends to cause kids to withdraw from the parents. It also causes the kids to resort to sneaky and dishonest behavior in order to keep their phones.
Another action of many parents today is searching phones. Although my own parents do not check my phone, according to a recent Pew Research study, more than 60 percent of parents monitor their child’s online activity. While this action does allow parents to stay aware of any online dangers that may appear and also make sure there aren’t any cyber security mistakes, it also again ruins trust between the family relationships. The dangers to teenagers sharing online may also be exaggerated and most teenagers are actually better at avoiding cyber mistakes than you might think, instead using social media to brighten up an image for college or keeping separate accounts for personal use and portfolio.
I understand why parents may try to control a child’s phone, for reasons like to help a child’s development and looking out for cyber dangers or mistakes. However, today, many situations are much more than just simple worry and it is important for parents to believe that their child is doing well and will continue to do well even without their monitoring; teenagers are much more aware than you think and can achieve self-control. Believe in us, parents